Empathy Shouldn't Be Based on Shared Experience

by Jenny Blanchard

The state of Indiana has been engaged in a political battle over redistricting, an effort led by the Republican majority in the state legislature in an already deeply red state. At the same time this debate was waged in the Indiana State House, Pres. Donald Trump posted a social media screed in which he called Minnesota Governor Walz “seriously retarded” for his stance on the issue of immigration.

In response to Trump' s use of this derogatory and ignorant slur, Republican State Senator of Indiana Mike Bohacek stated that he was offended by the president’s language and that he would oppose all redistricting efforts. Sen. Bohacek wrote that he has been “an unapologetic advocate for people with intellectual disabilities” since one of his daughters was born with Down syndrome. The Indiana state senator made the point that “words have consequences.”

Suddenly Mike Bohacek became this inspirational Gandhi-esque figure for taking the moral high road. Certainly his actions are commendable and worthy of praise. But the larger implication of his moral stance is that only if we are personally touched by an issue can we speak on behalf of an individual or group that is struggling. Shouldn’t empathy for those who suffer go beyond the narrow parameters of our own lives?

Empathy is what we experience when we feel another person' s pain or joy. It is very literally our ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, to understand and share their feelings.

At the same time, it is a myth that empathy requires a shared experience. In reality, empathy requires perspective – not a matching or identical history. You don’t have to live someone else’s life to care deeply about them.

Shouldn’t Senator Bohacek be morally equipped to condemn the rhetoric of Donald Trump whether or not one of his children struggles with cognitive development?

Certainly, Sen. Bohacek has a more intimate and immediate connection with this issue. But does this mean that he alone is in a position to speak out? Does this give the other Republican state senators, or the rest of us for that matter, a free pass to remain silent? For example, I am not a person of color. I am not a member of the LGBTQ community. I am not a Holocaust survivor, nor am I a Palestinian living in Gaza. But if I allowed those facts to limit my capacity for empathy and compassion, I would be denying one of the most basic and profound parts of my own humanity.

We have an unwavering moral obligation to transcend the limitations of our own circumstances in life if we are ever to be truly human. It is in this way that we are able to make the conditions of others our own. The alternative is to live a detached and isolated existence where, in the words of American playwright Edward Albee, “we neither love nor hurt because we do not try to reach each other.”